They have to feel some sense of ownership and power in what is happening, but I am still the parent in charge. So giving them choices throughout their day is our solution. It seems simple enough, and I know many others do this as well, but we really make a conscious effort to use them all the time.

She has mannequins decorating her front yard, rides a Gator ATV, can use a shotgun just as well as a sewing machine, and would rather go dancing than sit in a rocking chair.