Her Night Terrors are my Nightmares

Recently, my three-year-old daughter began having night terrors.   I hope this is something you haven’t experienced, but after doing some research, it is a relatively common phenomenon in mostly younger children.  One study I read said that up to as high as 40% of children have experienced them.  

When they first started happening, I didn’t even realize what was happening.  

I thought she was having a really bad dream.  After multiple nights in a row, we knew that these were not just regular nightmares.  They are far worse than that.  

Here are a few clues that your child may be experiencing night terror:

1.  They are asleep.  Even though her eyes were open and she looked awake, she was fast asleep.  She did not react to our soothing efforts.  In fact, she had no response to us at all.  We couldn’t get through to her.  We kept telling her that she was okay and safe, and she didn’t respond.  We would even ask her questions, and she wouldn’t acknowledge us.

   
   

2. Your child may talk, but more likely, they will scream.  Our daughter screamed in a chilling tone.  Hearing how afraid she was is the most disheartening sound as a parent.  She would occasionally say a few words, but they were hard to understand and really didn’t make sense.

   
   

3. They may tremble.  One of the first signals that this was worse than a bad dream was her shaking.  During her terrors, she shakes uncontrollably.  No amount of soothing stopped her tremors.

   
   

Once we realized that our daughter was experiencing night terrors, I immediately scoured the Internet for answers on what was causing them and how we could help.  It broke my heart that she was so afraid of something and that I couldn’t take her fear away.  

From research (I am no medical expert) and mom experience, here are a few things that may help if your child ever experiences a night terror.

1.  Don’t wake them up!  My first instinct was to wake her up and stop this terrible event.  However, almost everything I read said that you should not do that.  You should just be there with them (they probably don’t know you are there) and try to keep them safe.  It’s best to just be patient and wait until it ends.

   
   

2. If they happen repeatedly, take note of when they happen.  For most children, they occur 60-90 minutes after they fall asleep.  For our daughter, they happen almost an hour after she falls asleep.  I read suggestions of waking them up around 15 minutes prior to when they happen.  This throws off the sleep cycle and may prevent a terror from occurring.

   
   

3. Don’t hold onto them.  As a mom, I kept holding my daughter (because she is shaking and scared), but I read that since they don’t know it’s you comforting them, this frightens them more.  I usually just put her on my lap, but don’t hug her.  It seems to help us!

   
   

Although they are incredibly scary to live through, the good news is that most children outgrow them and never remember them.  It is unknown what causes them, but there are no known linkages to other illnesses.  So, if you ever happen to experience one of these, try to stay calm and remember that it will pass!

Original post by Crystal on 10/21/16